


Burying Secrets and Bodies

by aris_shitwriting



Category: One Day at a Time (TV 2017)
Genre: Bisexual, Bisexual Alex Alvarez, Bisexual Male Character, Comatose Lydia Alvarez, Coming Out, Confessions, Gen, Hospital, Secrets, emotional coming out, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28512093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aris_shitwriting/pseuds/aris_shitwriting
Summary: This is an alternative to the scene where Alex talks to Lydia while she's in a coma in 2x13. Dr Berkowitz is a few minutes late and Alex finally gets to reveal a secret that he has been dreading to talk about for a long time.Trigger Warning - hospital, character in a coma, emotional coming out
Relationships: Lydia Riera & Alex Alvarez
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	Burying Secrets and Bodies

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on my own experience with figuring out my sexuality. Of course, I'm not an expert and I understand that not everyone went through the same things I did but in case someone who is going through this right now reads this, know that you are not alone and that it truly gets better.  
> Trigger warning (again) - hospital, character in a coma, emotional coming out

“Okay, I think you’re good” Alex breathed out, having finished painting Lydia’s nails.

He bit his lip, thinking about the thing that had been eating him up for months now. He knew he should say something to her, to know that he would have at last told her his whole truth in case the worst happened. In case she didn’t wake up.

“I haven’t been entirely truthful to you, abuelita. I know that we’re supposed to keep secrets from everyone else and not each other, but this one I couldn’t even tell you.” He started, tears welling up in his dark eyes.

To hell with the nail polish. He could repaint her nails again. He would, over and over if she lived to see another day. He picked up one of his abuelita’s hands, holding it tight in his grip as he took a shuddering breath and continued.

“it’s not because I’m ashamed, or because I’m scared. I know you will love me no matter what I do. I mean, you’d help me bury a body, as you’ve said hundreds of times before. I’d do the same for you” he wiped his eyes, a trembling laugh falling from his lips.

“Okay, that wasn’t entirely true either. I mean, of course I’d help you get rid of a body. I’m scared, though. Not of your reaction, or anyone else’s. God, I know all of you would accept this with open arms. Elena would be impossibly elated, and she’d make all these plans.” He chuckled again, imagining his older sister’ joy at the news she was bound to receive sooner or later.

“What I am scared of is that once I say this, once I finally reveal everything there is to know about me, I won’t be able to take it back. It will become a permanent thing and I don’t know if I want it to be.” he sobbed, finally breaking down as he came close to revealing what plagued his mind.

“I think I like guys and girls, abuelita. And I’m not ready for people to know yet. I’m not sure and I don’t think I’ll ever be. Remember when Elena was ranting about global warming makes natural hazards more and more common the other day? That’s what my mind feels like right now. The more that I think about it, the more volatile my thoughts get. Just like when the Earth’s temperature rises, things get more and more disastrous. It’s also an endless pit of existential anguish and by trying to figure it out just makes it more confusing.”

His chest was heaving, and tears were now flowing freely down his eyes. He drew in a few ragged breaths, reining in his thoughts and attempted to maintain some semblance of order to them, even if it was a doomed effort. He kept quiet for a few moments, letting the weight of his confession sink in. It was monumental for him, to finally tell someone about this. Even if his abuelita was in a coma.

“Anyway, I’m telling you this because god forbid something happens and you leave this world with untold secrets between us, I could never be able to live with myself. So here I am, opening up to you. I hope you’re listening. If you are, know that I will never keep a secret from you ever again. It’s not worth it, feeling this terrible instead of just letting you in.”

Now that he was done, he finally relaxed his grip on her hand, feeling it fall and stay limp on top of the flimsy covers of the hospital bed. He just sat there with his abuelita, relishing in the peaceful air around them and slowly drying his tears.

“Te quiero, abuelita. I know you’ll wake up soon”


End file.
